Mom sounded better this morning on the phone. She was finally able to sleep last night and is breathing better. She’s probably going to be in the hospital for a while, although I’m hoping she’ll be out by Xmas. I’ve been reading up on emphysema and apparently as the disease progresses, these kind of episodes become more common; I guess what I’m really having a hard time dealing with right now is the knowledge that her emphysema is getting worse. I watched two uncles whom I loved very much die of this disease, and it’s a horrible, horrible way to die. It’s like suffocating to death very slowly, over the course of months and years. As much as I dread the thought of losing my mom, seeing her suffer is going to be far worse.
I am trying to be strong and keep a positive attitude for her–she always worries more about me than about herself–but it’s difficult. I don’t know what I’d do without George, he’s being just WONDERFUL. I still can’t believe how lucky I am to have him.